More Than We See
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: For a moment, she couldn't move, or even breathe. She was not naive. It was very possible that she had just seen him alive for the last time, and she hadn't revealed the most important secret she had to him. He didn't know she loved him.
1. Chapter 1

Yeah, I know I shouldn't be starting another story. But don't worry, it's almost finished. I was going to make it a oneshot, but it didn't seem to fit. That, and I'm evil. ;) So there will be one more chapter. Enjoy, and please review!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVU

Olivia Benson knew something was wrong when her partner got to work. She usually showed up at least a half hour before he did, but today he was late and looking run-down. She watched him as he sat down across from her. His eyes were bloodshot, and his normally clean-shaven face was stubbled, as though he had not picked up a razorblade in days.

"Good morning, El."

He grunted softly in reply. He felt like hell, and he wasn't sure why. He was probably coming down with something.

She looked at the open file in front of her, occasionally stealing glances at her newly divorced partner. He was pale and there were bags under his eyes, and she tried to attribute it to the stress of the divorce and their job. He was fine. But something still troubled her.

As the hours slipped by, Elliot started to sweat. Something was definitely off. Maybe he needed to consider taking a few days off to get over whatever this was. Probably the flu. It had been making the rounds for at least a week now. He swiped a shaking hand over his face.

Olivia kept a careful eye on her partner. He was definitely acting strange. He was probably getting sick. When they got off work, she would convince him to stay home a few days. She would stop by his apartment after work to check on him, and he would be fine. Maybe she would even bring him some chicken soup. And after some rest and relaxation, he would be back on his feet.

Around lunchtime, Elliot closed his file and leaned back in his chair, absently loosening his tie. "What do you want for lunch, Liv?"

She set her pen down. "I can make the lunch run, El."

He stood up, shaking his head as the room started to dip. "I've got it."

Olivia got to her feet and moved around their desks. "El? What's wrong?"

His face paled, and he rubbed his left arm. "I'm okay..."

She reached out and touched his shoulder. "You don't look okay, Elliot. Maybe you should sit back down."

He grasped her arm as his knees buckled. "Liv..."

Suddenly he collapsed into her arms, and Olivia's eyes widened as she grabbed Elliot and sank to the floor of the squadroom. "Someone, call a bus!" she yelled, cradling her partner to her chest. "Now!"

Munch and Fin hurried over to them. "What happened?" Munch demanded, pulling his sunglasses off and revealing his concerned eyes.

"I don't know! He just collapsed." Olivia gently patted her partner's cheek. "Elliot, wake up."

Munch grabbed a phone and called for a bus, while Fin knelt down beside Olivia and checked for Elliot's pulse.

Olivia continued to gently shake Elliot in an attempt to rouse him. "Come on, Elliot. Wake up," she begged.

Fin suddenly felt sick. "I lost his pulse."

Without hesitating, Olivia laid Elliot on the floor. Then she began performing CPR on her beloved partner.

She couldn't lose him. He was her best friend, the other half of her heart and soul. And since Kathy had left him again, she had been working up the nerve to tell him just how she felt. He had to know.

She pressed down on his chest, then blew another breath into his mouth. "Breathe, El," she begged, tears filling her chocolate eyes. "Breathe!"

Finally his body trembled and he took a shallow breath.

"Thank God..." She lifted his head into her lap and gently stroked his hair.

Every detective in the squadroom gathered around them. Once Elliot was breathing on his own again, Cragen barked, "Give him some room! Back up!"

Quietly the other detectives backed up a few feet, but no one returned to their work.

Finally the paramedics hustled into the squadroom, and Munch guided them over to the fallen detective.

Olivia had been holding Elliot in her arms and speaking softly to him, and when the paramedics gently pried Elliot from her arms, tears of fear and pain flowed down her cheeks.

"Pulse is weak and rapid. Let's get him out of here." The medics gently placed Elliot on a stretcher, then fitted an oxygen mask over his face.

As they readied Elliot for transport, Olivia locked eyes with Cragen, silently telling him that she would not be separated from her partner.

He nodded, knowing that there was no use in telling her that she had to stay. Besides, she was also Elliot's medical proxy, and knew his medical history better than anyone else there.

Taking Elliot's hand, she walked alongside his stretcher as he was taken out of the squadroom.

Once they were gone, Cragen turned and looked at his remaining detectives. "Everyone, get back to work."

Olivia clung to Elliot's hand as the ambulance rushed to the nearest hospital. This couldn't be happening. Elliot was her best friend, and her heart. In the weeks since his divorce had been finalized, she had been trying to work up the nerve to tell him just how much he meant to her. But every time they were alone, every time she had ample opportunity, she had backed out for one reason or another.

Now she was starting to see that that was a terrible mistake.

She reached out and rested her hand against his cheek. "I'm so sorry, Elliot," she whispered, ignoring the curious looks of the paramedic. "I'll fix this, but you have to be okay." She took his hand and brought it up to her mouth. Then she lightly kissed his fingertips.

He didn't regain consciousness, and when they reached the hospital, she quickly followed the paramedics as they rushed Elliot into the ER.

When she could go no further, she kissed Elliot's hand, then watched with tear-filled eyes as Elliot was rushed away.

For a moment, she couldn't move, or even breathe. She was not naive. It was very possible that she had just seen Elliot alive for the last time, and she hadn't revealed the most important secret she had to him.

He didn't know that she loved him.

TBC...

A/N: I know, I know! Evil! There is one more chapter, and I'm not going to give anything away. You'll just have to review. LOL. Thanks for reading!


	2. I Believe

Okay, okay, people! Put down your torches and flaming sporks! Here's the second half! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVU

There was a painful ache in his chest, and his mouth felt as though it were full of cotton when Elliot started to wake up. His eyelids were heavy, but after a few moments, he finally managed to open them. The lights were soft in the room, and he quickly realized that he was in a hospital room. What the hell...?

He slowly lifted his arm and touched the oxygen cannula under his nose as he tried to remember what had happened to land him in the hospital. He had gone to work that morning feeling lousy, and anything after that was a blur. But he did remember Olivia's frightened voice, and being in her arms. He moved his right hand to rest on his sore chest and reluctantly let his eyes close again.

Olivia walked back into her partner's room. Munch had persuaded her to get some lunch, and though the food was bland and the coffee weak, she did feel a little better. She returned to her seat beside her partner's bed. He was still pale, but he was breathing. She gently touched his arm. His doctor had said that Elliot had suffered a heart attack, and she was still in shock. He seemed too young to have had one. But their job was full of stress, he never saw his children, and the woman he had been with for over twenty years was now his ex. Of course he was under stress. And he never ate well, no matter how many times she had urged him to.

But she was still reeling with disbelief. She slipped her hand into Elliot's and let out a heavy breath. His doctor was sure that he would make a full recovery, but he still hadn't regained consciousness, which troubled her. There was so much that she needed to tell him, so much he needed to know.

Elliot was surprised when he felt a hand in his, and without opening his eyes, he knew Olivia was sitting beside him. He could smell the perfume she wore, combined with a scent that was uniquely hers. Even just listening to her breathing calmed and reassured him that he was not alone.

Olivia leaned back in the chair and sighed quietly. Hospital chairs had to be the most uncomfortable chairs ever created, and sadly she was getting used to this one. She had barely left Elliot's side in the twenty four hours since she had first been allowed into her best friend's room. And each time she had reluctantly left, she had been afraid that he would wake up by himself in the hospital room.

A few tears slipped down her cheeks as she was once again reminded how close she had come to losing him. In their line of work, anything could happen. They both knew that when they left their houses each morning, they might not ever come home. But a heart attack... She tightened her grip on his calloused hand.

When she held his hand tighter, he was surprised. Something very bad must have happened to scare Olivia. She was the bravest, strongest person he had ever known. And to know that she was frightened, because of him...

He slowly opened his eyes and turned his head toward her. Tears...? Olivia was crying. As long as they had known each other, he had only seen her cry once or twice, and he hated that he was the reason she was crying now.

Olivia sniffled and looked at their hands. She had been keeping too much to herself for too long. When he woke up, she would swallow her fears and finally tell him. He needed to know.

Elliot shifted his hips, gently squeezing his best friend's hand.

Surprised, Olivia wiped her eyes and looked at her partner's face. "Hey..."

He blinked slowly and offered her a weak smile. "Liv..."

Relieved, Olivia leaned closer to him and rested her hand on his forehead. In their eleven years as partners, they had rarely touched outside of undercover work or comforting hugs. Occasionally there was the unintentional brush of a hand against skin, but there were so many rules, so many invisible lines that defined boundaries.

But in those weeks since his divorce, all of those lines had been blurred, or completely erased. But today, in that moment, there were no rules. It was about comfort and reassurance, for both of them.

He summoned a weak smile for her. "Must've been bad..."

She swallowed a soft groan. "Pretty bad. You had a heart attack, Elliot."

His eyes filled with surprise. "That's why... I feel like I was run over by a truck."

Her thumb caressed his skin. "Something like that." She blew out a soft breath. "El, I-"

The door opened, and Elliot's tired eyes lit up when his children slipped into the room. "Hey, guys..."

Maureen hurried across the floor and to her father's side. "Hi, Daddy." She leaned over and hugged him tightly.

Elliot swallowed a groan of pain and wrapped an arm around his eldest daughter. "Hey, angel." He kissed her head.

Olivia took a step back and crossed her arms over her chest.

The rest of the children surrounded their father's bed. Elliot hugged each of them, then settled back into the pillows. Every person he loved and held dear to his heart was in this room. His gaze flickered to his partner, and his heart warmed.

Olivia locked eyes with her best friend, and she finally smiled.

As his children talked quietly, Elliot felt his eyelids grow heavy. He didn't want to fall asleep, but the simple task of just keeping his eyes open was becoming too much.

Olivia finally moved back to the bed and softly said, "Kids, your dad needs to rest."

Maureen nodded, leaning down to kiss her dad's cheek. "We'll come back, Daddy."

He smiled sleepily. "I love all of you."

They said their goodbyes, and Maureen herded her younger siblings out of their father's hospital room.

The door closed, and Olivia returned to the bed. "You have some great kids, El."

"I know," he murmured, blinking slowly.

She ran her tongue over her lower lip. "El..."

"Hmm?"

A nurse came into the room, and once again Olivia fell silent as she watched the nurse tend to her partner.

The nurse checked Elliot's vitals, then pulled out a syringe and injected its contents into Elliot's IV. She glanced at Olivia and smiled warmly. Every time she came to check on this particular patient, his wife had been at his side. She had never seen such a devoted, loving wife. She patted Elliot's arm. "He'll rest easy. Maybe you should go home for a little while."

Olivia shook her head. "I can't do that."

The nurse's compassionate smile widened, and she nodded before leaving the room.

Olivia sighed wearily and returned to the bed. "Don't worry, El. I'm not going anywhere."

He cracked one eye open and took her hand. "You never do," he mumbled.

She chuckled softly. The pain medications were certainly helping. "And I never will."

"Hmm..." He yawned.

She sank down into her chair again, absently stroking Elliot's hand. "Elliot, there's something I need to tell you." She ran her hand along his arm. "El... I love you." She paused and waited.

But he didn't reply.

After a few moments, she lifted her head to look at him, but he was sleeping soundly with his head turned toward her. With a small smile, she got up and perched herself on the edge of his bed, close to his head.

In his sleep, Elliot lifted his head and laid it in her lap. Then he snuggled into her and yawned.

Her eyes widened in surprise and delight. Maybe he hadn't heard her, but she had a feeling of where his feelings lay. Her hand gently smoothed his hair back.

"You got lucky," she said teasingly, her heart light. "But when you wake up again, I'll say it again, because you need to hear it."

He continued to sleep, and after a moment, she grabbed a pillow and placed it behind her back. Then she grabbed his blanket and pulled it over both of them.

"Sleep well, Elliot."

She settled back into the pillow and closed her eyes, her hand still lovingly stroking Elliot's hair.

The End!

A/N: So fluffy, I know. If you aren't in a diabetic coma, please review! Thanks for reading!


End file.
